Coffee!! You can sleep when you're dead!

I blame that double espresso I had at 3.30 yesterday afternoon.

It’s 3.30am…again…and I am awake again!  Not helping my weight loss journey at all (OMG I sound like a Biggest Loser contestant…they all say “my journey”…I will feel like a big loser in a few short hours when I am supposed to be at my perky best, all bright eyed and bushy tailed ready to greet a new day...I feel more like I am "tripping", than journeying). However,  I digress…

It is 3.30am and therefore it is now 12 hours since I had that delicious, aromatic double shot espresso in my little white espresso cup...my reward for a hard day’s work, and a little boost to help me cope for a  few more hours . I need to have serious words about coffee...

Caffeine is the most popular and widely used drug in the world. It is a substance found in the leaves, seeds or fruit of a number of plant species, such as coffee and tea plants.  Caffeine is a stimulant which acts on the central nervous system to speed up the messages to and from the brain. Caffeine takes 5–30 minutes to circulate in the body after it has been consumed. Its effects will continue as long as it is in the blood, which is usually around 12 hours.

Hear that ? 12 HOURS!!!!  12 Hours: 3.30pm to 3.30am = TWELVE HOURS!!!  Who knew 100mls or so of black liquid could be so powerful.  It’s left me stressed, sleepless and cranky.  I am worrying about worrying. I am worrying about worrying about worrying.  I am worrying about not sleeping and I am trying not to feel resentment towards Sleeping Beauty upstairs, burrowed under a soft, warm featherdown quilt, snoring away, oblivious to my pain.  I am also worried about the following:

Caffeine is a stimulant – and here’s what it does:

It elevates heart rate, increases blood flow, and raise body temperature. Caffeine enters the blood stream where the brain detects and stimulates the adrenal glands to release adrenalin. Adrenalin will increase heart rate. The liver is then stimulated where glucose is released into the blood stream. As a result blood glucose levels go up and the pancreas then releases insulin to regulate blood glucose levels…and therein lies a slippery slope, people.

So, I am flooded with adrenalin when I should be relaxed and enjoying my REMs…it’s making me fat, I am panicking,  I can feel it!  My body is panicking: “Head for the hills! The famine is coming, hang on to that f a-a-a-a-a-a-a-t!!!”

Where was I? Right, yes. But wait, there's more. Research (yes, yes I found it on the net!) has shown links between heavy use of caffeine and osteoporosis, high blood pressure and heart disease, heartburn, ulcers, severe insomnia and infertility.  

The major behavioural problems associated with heavy caffeine use are anxiety and depression. ..which as we have previously discussed can make us fat!

Credit for this drawing goes to a blogger called "Psychosheep" or somesuch

On top of all that the Grehlin Monster (remember that pesky hormone that tells us we are hungry in the wee small hours when we haven’t had enough sleep, or haven’t gone to sleep?) is raging around my body…this night is doomed and that’s how I feel. Caffeine withdrawal required.

But wait: here are the symptoms of caffeine withdrawal: irritability, nervousness, headache, anxiety, adrenal signals switched on, FAT programs activated…

We are all doomed 

To sleep, perchance to be thin (apologies to W. Shakespeare)

So, it’s 3.45am on this wintry night and here I am surfing the net and looking for inspiration.  I thought it was better to get up than stay in bed tossing and turning worrying about producing stress hormones because I was worried about not sleeping because I was worried that not sleeping and stressing would send a signal to my body to turn on my stress response program as if there was a freakin’ famine about to start and telling my fat cells to hang on in there, we still need you in this time of need…

Okay, okay this all sounds like the rant of an insomniac, who doesn't use any punctuation whatsover, and well…I suppose it is.  But I do know sleep is important in relation to weight loss, so here are some sleep-deprived musings…

I just read about this diet that two guys in the UK published – it’s called the “Hibernation Diet”, and basically they extol the virtues of a spoonful of honey before bed to get your metabolism firing while you sleep, which turns off your stress hormones and allows your blood sugars to level and provides fuel while you sleep. It's a dream come true! (hahahaha – a bit of late night/early morning humour) .  Now, this  really is the stuff of weight-loss wishes— shedding kilos while tucked up in bed and waking up refreshed, thin  and ready for the day ahead.  And it’s all down to a spoonful of honey.  

But hold it right there – please read the fine print before you rush off to your local 24 hour Woollies in your PJs for your jar of manuka honey– our British duo then go on to say that a healthy diet that excludes white bread, chips, pizzas and sweets, and exercise that includes resistance training, pilates and yoga 5 times a week will also assist with weight loss. Well der…

Okay here’s the thing…when we are tired, sleep-deprived insomniacs the last thing we want to do when our bleary eyes greet the dawn is reach enthusiastically for our gym clothes and head on out to Fitness First for an early morning workout.  No…what we do is make a coffee and slump on the couch with eyes half shut against the brightness of day and bitch and moan about how tired we are while criticizing what stupid Mel and even-stupider Kochie are saying on "sunrise", or "good morning blah blah".  Then what we do is crave carbohydrates because our brains our saying “hey you, get your bum off the couch and feed me – NOW!!”. So we grab toast, or a pastry, or a muffin on the way to work in the vain hope that this and a few more espressos will keep us going for the day until we can once more go to bed...and try to sleep.

But seriously those two UK diet dudes are right about our hormones and they are right about sleep. Good, adequate sleep aids weight loss. (Forget the honey and the hibernation though). Why do we need sleep? It’s not only a necessary part of rejuvenating the body; but is also highly important to the metabolism.  We eat because our bodies are given signals to eat.  Those signals come from hormones called  ghrelin and leptin  and they are directly affected by sleep; and directly affect our eating patterns.  Ghrelin is a hormone that tells the body “Hey you!  You’re hungry! You need to eat!”  Leptin, our true hormonal friend, tells the body when to stop eating.  When we are sleep deprived, our bodies increase production of ghrelin and there is a decrease in the amount of leptin in action.  What does all this mean? What it means is when we don’t get enough sleep we have a higher craving for food and a lowered resistance to overeating.  Double that with the body’s need for energy and those of us trying to control our weight have a recipe for disaster! (more late night puns…sorry).

So gang, if you need to lose some kilos, get some sleep!