Well then, how did one get so fat, and what does it mean to be obese?

It’s been a hard 12 months, with a few exceptions:

My partner had emergency surgery and lost an ovary
We got married
I fell out with my brother
My niece got married
My stepfather died
We went on a belated honeymoon
We moved house
My brother got married
My partner got sick
My nieces had babies
My daughter spilt up from her boyfriend
We seemed to be fighting with everyone
We got sued
We lost money
I was in constant pain
My partner was in constant pain
A business partnership went south and a friendship was lost

My daughter and her boyfriend got back together
Birthdays and Christmas came and went
A beloved grandmother died
We arranged a(nother) funeral
We went to London and back and missed the Australian summer
I put on 7 kilograms since April
A website told me I was about 20 kilograms overweight

My Facebook statuses were full of “…is tired”; “…is sick”; is “saying goodbye”; “…is wishing certain people knew how to behave themselves”; …is weary of selfish people”… “wants to run away”; …“wishes things were different”…"needs a change”… a year of the miserables. A year of making resolutions and then ignoring them; a year in which I thought and said “I should”; “I want to” and “I need to”.

It is dawning on me slowly and surely that I have been getting ...well… not cuddly, not curvy, not Rubensque, not buxom, generously proportioned, full-figured or plump, plush or rotund. (Hey Susie-Q, there’s more of me to love since the wedding for sure!) I haven’t been getting voluptuous, or even just plain big (or “large” to use another useful euphemism. I am none of these things. What I am is fat. I AM FAT. FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT!!

Dr Russ Harris (of Mindfulness fame) tells us if we repeat something often enough, the word loses its power. (FAT, fat, fat fat fat fatfatftaftafat fat fat
fatfatfatfatfatfatfatfatfatfat fatfatfatfatfatfatfatfatfatfatfatfat fatfatfatafatafatafatafatafafafatfatfatfatfatfatfatfatfatyastillfat!fatfatfat ) Even more so if we say it very quickly in a voice that sounds like you sucked helium from all the balloons at a kids’ party, or sing it to the tune of Frere Jacques: Fat, fat, fat, fat/fat fat fat fat/fat fat fat/fat fat fat/fatty fatty fat-fat/fatty fatty fat-fat/ fat fat fat/fat fat fat
http://www.thehappinesstrap.com.au/

I dunno about all that, but FAT has come to have a powerful influence over me – and not in a good way either. Here is my inner fat voice:
“You are too fat to wear that. Those jeans don’t fit Are you sure you want another one of those? What is the point of going shopping, no-one looks good in a mu-mu. You don’t want to get undressed in front of your wife, she’ll wonder why she married you. Everyone on TV / at work /in bars/ on the movie screens / in fact, everyone I know is decidedly unfat. What is wrong with you? You look disgusting! You cannot go out at all...people will run screaming from you in the street. You need to stay home and starve my girl...it is the only answer".

I know that my year in dot points (see above) is a litany of excuses for eating and drinking too much and not moving enough. Excuses or reasons ?- a mixture, I think and hard to tell a lot of times...

Well dear reader, so has begun my journey to discover what, how, when and why I am fat. And just what I am going to do about it. But along the way I found some extra "reasons"...