Exploring exercise

Ah...exercise.  I like it when I do it, and dread it when I don't.  All my life I have had a love-hate relationship with exercise.  When I was a teenager, I used to leave gym class ten minutes before the end so I could get changed in privacy and try to cool down my face - that had turned blood red and blotchy from exertion.  It wasn't that I didn't like gym class or PE -  I just didn't like the way it made me look during and after. Weird, I know.  Vain? Probably. Self-conscious? Definitely. No-one else seemed to have the same problem as me.  No-one else had a face that resembled a big red sweating balloon, complete with pimples.  I longed for exercise that I could do with nice clothes on, that didn't make my hair curl from perspiration, that didn't well, involve moving very much.  Something like this:

I loved to read, so if I could have had a contraption like this... I could have read all the Dolly magazines I liked, all the Jane Austens and Brontes AND "exercise" at the same time!

Imagine all the things you could do with a machine like this :-)  Update facebook, text your friends, upload iPhone apps, have a sleep.  Exercising in your sleep, now there's an idea...

or this: hands free and you can wear your best...er...dress...while the machine does it's work. No red faces here

Roller massagers were supposed to vibrate or massage the fat off – the theory being that fat would get  loosened from wherever it was tethered, therefore enabling the body to flush it out!!  Which is why this woman has a nice slim waist...though she doesn't look all that comfortable or happy about it.  Again though, it's hands free for twittering, practicing sign language or standing proudly with hands on hips while the  machine does all the work. No red faces involved.



Now, what about these "Wonder Sauna Hot Pants". What a great idea - one size fits all - they simply MELT the fat away from waist, tummy, hips and thighs.  No running, no sweating, no red faced puffing and panting involved.  Sit down, switch on the telly, crack open a nice bottle of red and relax in the knowledge you don't have to do a thing. the Wonder Sauna Hot Pants will do it all for you. And look how happy this couple look - here they are doing something fun together, while the fat just melts away...





the family that exercises together...



And another variation on the theme that tells us that all you have to do is massage the fat away...here's another ideal Christmas or birthday present, or just treat yourself...go on, you deserve it



and with an 11 day (eleven days?)  money back guarantee - you don't get that from the local gym, do you?

It's been a while...but I have been busy

Me and my mates having fun at "Fat Camp"

Well, what a month or so it has been! April has flown by in a blur and bloody hell, May is more than half way through...posts coming up! Fat farms, "health" retreats, meditation, willpower, starvation, protein, carbs, fats 'n' all.  I have something to say about all of 'em...stay tuned

Time has flown and so have I...  Here is me and some of my friends exercising - note our very latest sportswear and beautiful form, and our shoes!

The things I have learned about carbs in the last 5 weeks has blown me away, not all carbs are created equal you know, and a calorie is not just a calorie; and protein - wait til I get started on that! And fats - gotta have 'em!





See you soon!